Is it time yet? Because I am ready for it to end...

The medium came the other day.  All my guests had such good readings.  Mine was… somewhat anti-climactic.  The reading was more on D than me, and on finances, a little on me… seemingly very little.  And when I asked him who was around me, he said Grandparents.  I had to ask about the baby.  And when I asked he asked me if my sister-in-law had told me what he told her (that Grandma R was holding 4 babies.)  She did tell me this, but this was for her.  Not for me.  He said, “I don’t need to tell you anyway.  You already know and that’s why you have on butterflies.  You are very spiritual.  Why aren’t you doing readings for a living?”  So did he mean that I knew already because S told me what her reading was, or that I knew already because I “knew.”  I never asked if we were going to have another… though he implied something about me already having two beautiful daughters (I don’t know what that means).  Now don’t get me wrong, he did seem to know things that are not widely known.  He knew that D was hunting at a cabin with his brother who didn’t believe and wouldn’t let his wife come.  He knew that I had a hurt neck.  He knew that Grandma is in my Mom’s house.  I don’t know… It’s only out of entertainment, true.  And I didn’t really know what to expect.  But a part of me hoped that she would come through a bit more for me, and not just because she was a part of someone else’s reading.  He did say that things will slowly get better for us, that although we took a little step backward it was only so we could move so much forward.  I sure hope so.

I took the girls to get pictures yesterday by a friend and today in a studio with others… Gabbie’s bear was in the pictures.  The pictures by my friend turned out beautifully.  However, not so much for the ones in the studio, and the one photographer asked what was up with the bear.  I ignored the question.  Too damn bad if she doesn’t want to take pictures with a bear. 

Speaking of pictures… I have just heard terrible news.  My photographer and her husband, who was a good friend in high school, are in need of prayers for their son.  Their 11 year old son was hit by a car this afternoon, and is undergoing surgery for a head injury. I cried.  I cry.  I am holding my breath.  I am praying with my soul.  I know what it means to lose.  I would not wish that on anyone.  But it is not possible for this year to take one more soul.  I cannot believe it so.  So...  I am putting it out to the universe that it is not allowed one more young soul... it's quota is fulfilled.  You, Universe, Heaven, Fate, You just can't have him. 

What is going on with this terribly shitty year? And when can we put an end to its unfortunate, tragedy-hungry, sad misery and leave us all in some peace?  How is there still a month of this overbearing and out of control year left?