Don't stop

I had written it out exactly what I wanted to say. But then I stopped. I erased it. There are no exact words. I am not naive. This baby is moving. At any point it could stop. It's that simple. At any point it could stop.

I keep writing "her" and then erasing it. It is not yet a she. It is not yet a he. It is not She, no not my Gabbie.  I don't care which it is, a he or a she, I just want it to live. I don't want it to stop. 

I am not naive. I cannot unknow. I have nothing more to give but my love which is already so much and I am so afraid but I have no control and know that no matter what I cannot stop the destiny. 

With my fear in my pocket, faith on my sleeve, a smile on my face, my heart filled with love, I wait and begin to count the kicks. Please baby whatever you do, know that mama loves you, and wants you to keep kicking.