She was quiet this morning. D and I were nervous. She was moving but not the same. So I called the doctor. 2 hours of trying to kick count and she was so slow. The doctor sent me to L&D. And then they didn't send me home. Not because I was in labor but because my doctor is done. And we are done. She has decided that the risk of keeping her in is more than taking her out. I ate breakfast trying to wake her to get her to move, so we have wait until I've processed it but they aren't sending me home. I'm having a baby. Today. Surreal. It is the same day in pregnancy that we lost Gabbie. 38 weeks and a day.
So they prepped me for surgery. We sat all day and then the nurse came in and said, "I have to get you ready to go in 10 minutes." 10 minutes!? I cried. For 9 months I prepared for this day. And now it was here. D was anxious too. His eyes gave him away. I was to be cut open so they could get her out and given a spinal anesthesia. The spinal went off ok. They got me on the bed in that position of the cross. The nausea arrived, and so did more drugs. Then D was there. Right by my head holding my hand. A procedure that normally lasts a half hour to 45 minutes took 2 hours.
Having an 8lb baby who is squeezed into your insides from hip to hip presents problems. She got stuck and they, four doctors, had to push down on me to dislodge her. Four doctors pushed, nearly standing on the table over me but she was stuck and the cord was wrapped 3 times around her neck. They bruised her leg pulling on her to get her out and for an eternity of a millisecond she didn't cry. The anesthesiologist had asked D if he wanted to be told at just the right moment to look and see her born. He never told him to look. He must've known something wasn't right. I heard the anxiety in D 's voice when he asked if she was ok. It all came down to a held breath while she was given a puff of air when we heard her cry and the doctor said she was fine. I sobbed. The most beautiful sound in the world is a baby's first cry. She was good. I asked so many times. But me, I was not so good. I'd lost a lot of fluids. She had so much fluid again that it soaked the floor, the bed, and filled the bottles. It all could have been a repeat of how we lost Gabbie. But it wasn't. It took over an hour to get me patched back up and an extra day lost to recover before I could get out of bed. There was talk of the possible need for a blood transfusion because of severe anemia. I don't want one so it looks like I'm going to be tired for a while. I have never been so scared before and in so much physical pain after any of my other pregnancies than I am with this one. And, after all of this, I am done and cannot do any more.
Evie J Swader was born by the grace of God and help from angels, especially her big sister, Gabbie into this world on May 27th. It was the exact day in pregnancy that we lost Gabbie, 38 weeks and one day. Evie weighed 8lbs 3oz. She is healthy and beautiful. And the rainbow after the horrible storm. She does not take away the pain but she is a beautiful light in my sky.
So they prepped me for surgery. We sat all day and then the nurse came in and said, "I have to get you ready to go in 10 minutes." 10 minutes!? I cried. For 9 months I prepared for this day. And now it was here. D was anxious too. His eyes gave him away. I was to be cut open so they could get her out and given a spinal anesthesia. The spinal went off ok. They got me on the bed in that position of the cross. The nausea arrived, and so did more drugs. Then D was there. Right by my head holding my hand. A procedure that normally lasts a half hour to 45 minutes took 2 hours.
Having an 8lb baby who is squeezed into your insides from hip to hip presents problems. She got stuck and they, four doctors, had to push down on me to dislodge her. Four doctors pushed, nearly standing on the table over me but she was stuck and the cord was wrapped 3 times around her neck. They bruised her leg pulling on her to get her out and for an eternity of a millisecond she didn't cry. The anesthesiologist had asked D if he wanted to be told at just the right moment to look and see her born. He never told him to look. He must've known something wasn't right. I heard the anxiety in D 's voice when he asked if she was ok. It all came down to a held breath while she was given a puff of air when we heard her cry and the doctor said she was fine. I sobbed. The most beautiful sound in the world is a baby's first cry. She was good. I asked so many times. But me, I was not so good. I'd lost a lot of fluids. She had so much fluid again that it soaked the floor, the bed, and filled the bottles. It all could have been a repeat of how we lost Gabbie. But it wasn't. It took over an hour to get me patched back up and an extra day lost to recover before I could get out of bed. There was talk of the possible need for a blood transfusion because of severe anemia. I don't want one so it looks like I'm going to be tired for a while. I have never been so scared before and in so much physical pain after any of my other pregnancies than I am with this one. And, after all of this, I am done and cannot do any more.
Evie J Swader was born by the grace of God and help from angels, especially her big sister, Gabbie into this world on May 27th. It was the exact day in pregnancy that we lost Gabbie, 38 weeks and one day. Evie weighed 8lbs 3oz. She is healthy and beautiful. And the rainbow after the horrible storm. She does not take away the pain but she is a beautiful light in my sky.
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