Early morning recurring nightmares

I had a dream last night that I needed a shelf moved but on the shelf were items that were important to me that I wanted handled with care.  The man (a friend) who was helping me rearrange was a man I, in conscious state do not recognize.  The items on the shelf included all of the things of Gabbie that I hold dear including her ashes in an urn, but also, the brother's ashes of my sister's boyfriend.  As the man began to displace the objects from the shelf I begged him to be gentle.  With nothing left on the shelf but the two urns the man responded by picking up Gabbie's ashes and saying, "what could possibly be so important" he proceeded to empty her ashes on the table.  The ashes fell out in almost an ooze of thick gel-like gray clumps.  I threw myself to the floor crumpled over my legs and heaved great sobs until Derek shook me awake.  Fat heavy tears wet my temples and pillow.  I know the dream is rooted in my subconscious but I can't put my finger on what it could mean. 
I have dreams often of bad things happening to Gabbie's ashes.  They leave desolate, disconsolate and destitute feeling all day.  Today I just wanted to cry.  How does my life move on, trudge on, pull me in as an unwilling participant when much of my insides just want to stay in the hospital and hold my beautiful baby?  My beautiful dead baby.  And now my dreams keep me from even the ability to protect her ashes.