Getting older

The older G gets the more questions there are that I can't answer. The other day she asked when we could have a baby that we could keep and then proceeded to talk on a "phone" to a baby brother. Today she was filled with questions: why is heaven up in the sky, why does Gabbie have to be there, why can't she come down and go trick or treating with her, why does she have a sister she can't see. Why? Why? Why?  I have no answers. 

S turns 10 tomorrow. How did my first baby get so much older than I remember?  How did I let time eek away?

I am happy with the new place; there are butterflies and flowers. Though summer is old now and has turned to autumn, and the butterflies and flowers will leave, she is here. When we moved in, this was left in the window. 

I miss you baby. I miss you and love you. I'm doing okay without you but oh how I still feel your absence, and your presence (thank God.).