The plan seemed set. Solid. How could it be different?
The plan was working...
Pregnant by August, house on the market by February break, Baby in April, Moving over the summer.
There would be no camping, no vacations, not a lot of extra money. Daycare would cost a small fortune, house would need 4 bedrooms to accommodate the growing family, time for other stuff would dwindle. A list was growing of things that we would need, extra expenses. All of this was planned for the five of us.
And then that one road, all mapped out and perfect in its imperfections and stresses, thrashed violently, vomited up a landslide, wiped the ground from beneath us, sent our stomachs into a plummet, threatened to eject us, and the road fell into the center of the earth and threatened to swallow us up and we hung on to the edge, clinging to each other.
The second road had been so obscured by what we expected that we never saw it, never even looked for it, never knew that it was there as it continued invisibly intertwined in our road...
and the two roads diverged.
There are places we have been in the last weeks that we would not have been had there been five of us instead of four. A funeral for one, hearts broken, awash in tears, swallowing sorrow to go on, reading sympathy cards that choke us up, talking of an afterlife, talking of heartache, holding hands in the night, whispering "I love you" one extra time, checking and rechecking faith, And we were forced to take the road less traveled.
I'd give up the extra time, the money, the sleep, to be on the other road. I can only hope that somehow being on this road will make all difference.
The plan was working...
Pregnant by August, house on the market by February break, Baby in April, Moving over the summer.
There would be no camping, no vacations, not a lot of extra money. Daycare would cost a small fortune, house would need 4 bedrooms to accommodate the growing family, time for other stuff would dwindle. A list was growing of things that we would need, extra expenses. All of this was planned for the five of us.
And then that one road, all mapped out and perfect in its imperfections and stresses, thrashed violently, vomited up a landslide, wiped the ground from beneath us, sent our stomachs into a plummet, threatened to eject us, and the road fell into the center of the earth and threatened to swallow us up and we hung on to the edge, clinging to each other.
The second road had been so obscured by what we expected that we never saw it, never even looked for it, never knew that it was there as it continued invisibly intertwined in our road...
and the two roads diverged.
There are places we have been in the last weeks that we would not have been had there been five of us instead of four. A funeral for one, hearts broken, awash in tears, swallowing sorrow to go on, reading sympathy cards that choke us up, talking of an afterlife, talking of heartache, holding hands in the night, whispering "I love you" one extra time, checking and rechecking faith, And we were forced to take the road less traveled.
I'd give up the extra time, the money, the sleep, to be on the other road. I can only hope that somehow being on this road will make all difference.
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