Antidepressants

A year ago after Evie I became terribly postpartum. I was so in love with Evie and so sad I'd never have the same opportunities of mothering Gabbie. I became anxious that something would happen to her. Riding in the car as a passenger became terrifying-- who knew if we'd all be okay; I couldnt breathe.
So, I started on Celexa. It took away the anxiety and deep sadness. But now, possibly because of its side effects, and possibly because of hormones I am having terrible abdominal pains. 

These pains are similar to, comparable to those of a c-section as your body comes down off the anesthesia and you feel it for the first real time. It's horrible crippling pain.

Last month I went into the hospital for the pain. They admitted me. I had inflammation around my ovaries, fallopian tubes, intestines, colon and appendix but they could find no cause. My belly was distended with the pain, it is now. They did CAT Scans, and internal and external Sonograms. They gave me pain killers which helped with the pain but doped me up to sleeping most of the time. They gave me an antibiotic which melted some of the inflammation.  They sent me home. I saw a gastro, he found nothing in colonoscopy. 

I uncovered that some of my symptoms may be caused by the side effects of Celexa.  Some of the rarer effects are pelvic inflammatory problems.   Awesome by the way.   As D stated. .. I think I'd rather be sad.   But the problem with this point is the first occurrence of this pain was before Evie after I had been off antidepressants for a while, so maybe they aren't related. I'm at my wits end. I will be seeing my OBGYN Wednesday. I'm definitely weaning of the antidepressants even though I'm scared of the saddness and anxiety returning. I pray that the Celexa is the problem and is an easy fix,  though I'd be annoyed that the doctors didn't see it. However,  if it's not,  the alternatives are pretty sucky options.

As an update,  Gabbie's still sends me signs.   Butterflies,  and whispered "mama"s as I fall of to sleep.   Evie is walking and talking,  she just turned 1.  My older two G and S ate such good big sisters.  G has had a lot of questions lately regarding Gabbie and her ashes.   Time seems to fly so quickly.