Documentation

This weekend is Gracie's birthday. A year ago when Gracie turned two we were expecting her little sister soon so we had her birthday party earlier rather than later. 3 days after her birthday party and one day before her actual birthday Gabbie stopped moving, the world came to a halt and April, and life changed forever, and yet didn't change at all. At Gracie's birthday party pictures were taken. They are the last documentation of a promise for life that will eventually be voided as if she never happened, as if I never carried her for 38 weeks and a day. I have decided to apply for a certificate of stillbirth. Not that it matters per sae but it's a legal document saying she existed. A legal document that says I am not losing my mind, I lost a baby.

Happy Birthday to my monkey. I am going to look forward to taking new pictures of my beautiful 3 year old with Gabbie in my thoughts instead. Wow life is hard.